Driving Miss Daisy-san

You know, you may complain "over there in the U.S." about how much your driver's license costs or how much that speeding ticket set you back. Let me just say this...if you have any problems speeding...do NOT come here!

Just to get a Japanese driver's license it costs $3,000 USD or ¥ 30,000. No, that is NOT a typo. Naturally, for the government folk with SOFA-status (that's State-Of-Forces Agreement) it doesn't cost a dime...or ¥10. If you get caught for speeding (which you will) or think you didn't get caught (which you did) you'll be paying $740 USD or ¥74,000. Here's how they do it. With a maximum island-wide speed of a breezy 60 KPH...translate that into MPH and you're going a NASCAR-worthy 37 MPH on the not-so-expressway...it's easier than you think it is to speed. Now, there are these little cameras on the traffic lights like they have "over there". Not only do these nifty gadgets take pictures of your license plate...they take Olan Mills-esque pictures of YOU. Yep. I'm guessing it's a lot harder to get a ticket fixed here than it is in Louisiana! There's nothing like getting a ticket in the mail with your mug shot on it.

Basically, you have to have a valid U.S. driver's license and have to sit for a test before you get this little piece of laminated paper that gives you the authority to drive a death-trap around the island. I'm looking for the perfect bumper sticker but I just can't seem to find: "Accident Waiting to Happen" anywhere!


Here are some fun rules of the road:

Buses, taxis and pedestrians have the right-of-way...at all times.

If a Yankee (that's an American whether you're from the South or not) is in an accident with an Okinawan. It's their fault. Period. Here it doesn't matter if someone pulled out in front of you. It's your fault. Got rear-ended? Your fault. Bicycle rode out in front of you? YOUR FAULT!

When Japanese school children wish to cross the street, they will hold their hand up, palm toward the traffic, and proceed to cross the street. If you hit one? Your fault.

Drivers with less than 1 year of driving experience have a green and yellow sticker on their car. Drivers 65 and older have a red and yellow sticker on their car.

If you're in an accident with either of the aforementioned?

Yes, you're getting it!

It's YOUR FAULT!

Oh yeah, did I mention the steering wheel is on the right side, the controls are reversed and we drive on the left side of the road?

It's gonna be a long three years...